index / soda file no. 02
issue no. 01 anti-wellness edition

soda.

n.
/ˈsoʊ.də/
PRONOUNCED · ACCURATELY · GUILT-EE
1.Cold, carbonated, slightly suspicious. 2.(archaic) A beverage. 3.The offence.

Three exhibits. Each one a charge filed by the Wellness State. Each one a case the defence is willing to make.

On record — Clean label was offered. The defendant chose flavour and transparency.

exhibit A
Citrus Confessional 250ml can on a light timber counter at a Japanese omakase setting, beside a plate of salmon sashimi with shiso leaf and grated ginger. Navy noren curtain in the background. Window light from the left.

citrus confessional.

lemon / yuzu · 250ml · 0.0% abv
sharp on arrival.

bright acidity, yuzu without a permit, six grams of sugar refusing to apologise.

nutrition
servings per package1 serving size250ml
nutrient per 100ml per serving
Energy109 kJ (26 Cal)273 kJ (65 Cal)
Protein0.0 g0.1 g
Fat, total0 g0 g
— Saturated0 g0 g
Carbohydrates6.0 g14.9 g
— Sugars6.0 g14.9 g
Sodium0 mg0 mg
what's really in it

Carbonated water, raw sugar, lemon juice (2.6%), yuzu juice (0.3%), lemon extracts, citric acid, natural yuzu flavour, yuzu extract.

exhibit B
Bitter Justice 250ml can on a worn timber wine-bar counter, beside a glass of white wine and a small plate of prosciutto and green olives. Bottle shelves and exposed brick behind. Edison bulb overhead.

bitter justice.

blood orange / ginger · 250ml · 0.0% abv
bitter on principle.

blood orange that doesn't soften, ginger heat that wasn't asked for, juniper bitterness to the end.

nutrition
servings per package1 serving size250ml
nutrient per 100ml per serving
Energy130 kJ (31 Cal)325 kJ (78 Cal)
Protein0.0 g0.1 g
Fat, total0 g0.1 g
— Saturated0 g0 g
Carbohydrates7.3 g18.3 g
— Sugars7.3 g18.2 g
Sodium0 mg0 mg
what's really in it

Carbonated water, blood orange juice (9.3%, from concentrate), raw sugar, ginger juice (0.3%), blood orange extract, ginger extract, malic acid, natural ginger flavour, sweet orange extract, juniper extract, bitter orange extract.

Wellness State Bureau seal
register no. ws-bureau-noti-014 date filed · 7 march 2026 status · active

warning · advisory · disclaimer

These statements have not been evaluated by the Wellness State Bureau. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any feeling.

Contains no adaptogens, no nootropics, no prebiotic fibre, no trace amounts of personal growth. Will not optimise the quality of self.

Side effects: enjoyment.

on file · authorised by the bureau · do not remove
exhibit C
Cola Vice 250ml can on a worn walnut restaurant booth table, late evening with a green banker's-lamp, a leather bill holder, a lowball with melting ice, and a single extinguished matchstick.

cola vice.

spiced cola · 250ml · 0.0% abv
spiced beyond reason.

cola, cassia and cardamom — past the point of restraint, lime acidity where you expected sweet, a finish too clean to be accidental.

nutrition
servings per package1 serving size250ml
nutrient per 100ml per serving
Energy134 kJ (32 Cal)335 kJ (80 Cal)
Protein0.1 g0.3 g
Fat, total0 g0 g
— Saturated0 g0 g
Carbohydrates7.7 g19.2 g
— Sugars7.6 g19.0 g
Sodium0 mg0 mg
what's really in it

Carbonated water, raw sugar, lime juice, natural cola flavours, tartaric acid, spice extracts (clove, cassia, cassia bark, black pepper, ginger, cardamom, nutmeg), natural vanilla flavour, kola nut extract, natural colour (burnt sugar).

for personal use only

the first offence.

1,000 units no restock direct from the defendants
join the register

for trade

you've read the charges. pour them.

we stock direct, on-premise only — in rooms where the list is considered and the bartender can sell the third can without trying. if that's yours, file with us.

see who's already on the registry →